snapping turtle vs sea turtle

my husband is a snapping turtle and i "want" to be a sea turtle. harville hendrix explains that the person who keeps everything inside then explodes is the snapping turtle. i just have anger issues. so, i would like to become the calm and cool sea turtle. i am working on the orange rhino   "365 day journey to yell less and love more".... http://theorangerhino.com/ ............ my dear friend in wisconsin told me she is doing it because she yells at her kids, mostly, about safety.  i told her i yell at my husband, mostly. she laughed and i felt guilty......i had to explain i was being serious. but, i've come a long way. a long, long, way. i've been in therapy. i deeply and completely accept myself. that is how i got better. i have to accept the situation...then all of a sudden i am aware of what's going on.
my husband does this thing where he speaks with his eyes. he, almost, passively gets angry. so, i asked him, "are you angry?". he said, "no". i was like, "what are you?". he was silent. i said, "whatever it is...let it go". to my surprise he let it go. then i do this guessing game?/??????????????? was he mad about finances? was he mad from work? was he mad about this or that? then i just stopped caring...because if he can't use the words it's not fair. i am not bringing perfection to the table. that's my motto. i have seen deep appreciation and improvement in our relationship. it's tough. i don't know. my relationship with myself is tough, ya know? i don't know how to sum this up....because we are, still, a work in progress. we communicate differently.........i'm a talker...........he's the strong, silent type...............i talk too much in his ear.......i wish he would talk with me waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more...............but, we are, deeply, attracted to one another and it makes our love sparkle and do that shimmery, shiney thing .