certainty

there isn't much i am certain about. i admire those who are certain of their belief systems. certain of what their afterlife will be like. certain of where their souls were before they were born. i'm a natural questioner. why? why? where's the root? what's the cause? consequences. actions. did i create this? is this a reactionary society or are we just products of our destiny. my belief systems have morphed from when i was a kid. i think this is due to the evolution of my unique soul.
deep breath in and out.
it's so good to be writing.
feverishly.
unwittingly.
i feel great.
just great.
i don't have to sell anything.
i'm a domestic engineer which gives me a whole heck of a lot of freedom.
sometimes, it feels choices are limited and then i give myslef a thunk in my head.
like
c'mon
wake up
you've already traveled the world
you've already worked for decent pay
you've found the love of your life
you have a snuggles that lifts your soul
BE HAPPY WITH WHERE I'M AT
thunk
then i feel grateful
i look at our family
dude
i have my own family
dysfunctional as all hell
but, we're a family!