shrimp rules

I just had the best shrimp in the universe. It tasted kind of smoke barbequed with paint brushes of butter.
Yum.
Dinner was great.
And I shared it with four other people.
It was really, really cool.
I have to say. It's even more fun when someone else pays the bill. But, then again, it's lots of fun to pay the bill, too. But, times are tight for everyone right now aren't they?
But, I digress.
We were talking about the shrimp skewers. Yumminess.
Let's poetry out ourselves
thinking
of sleep
sleeping and thinking
daydreaming
being
being cool being
drinking cool
red kane kola
to be exact
there are many things in life to be grateful for
red kane kola
is one of them

Relaxing Day

I had a nice relaxing day today. What is the purpose of blogging? I think I feel better after doing it. I cannot really nail down, exactly, why I do it. For instance, I floss my teeth to prevent tooth decay. Maybe I blog to prevent mental decay. I am a digital immigrant.
Digital Immigrant
you wonder
wondering
the zeroes and the ones
are much more important
than they used to be
why
when I was a kid
only a few people had a computer
we
used
ditto machines
purple ink
plopping
carbon copying
cc'ing
before
the machines did it
we did it manually
knowledge spreads faster
sources lessen
but
people communicate faster
maybe
not as deeply
but
faster
we're on the brink
so things are new
still
but
i still
like a
good cup of
chocolate chip cookie dough
ice cream
yum!

These are the days...

I used to be obsessed with surfing. Surfing nearly daily. And, then, over time I became obsessed with other things. Lately, I've been obsessed with moderation.
Funny, huh?
That's not being moderate.
But, I think it is the secret to things for me. The secrets for peacefulness. Peacefulness for me is more important than happiness. I think that peacefulness trumps all things in this life. I haven't really been into the physical. What some philsophers call
FORM
forming
form
forming
physical
diminishing
growing
metamorphising
growing
expanding
becoming
listen
listen
closely to this beat
it's already there
it's within
it's without
listen
listen

Help me Understand this

Help me, dear reader, understand this emotion of guilt. My baby darling has her second cold on her existence on this earth. Why does it summon feelings of guilt? That's an unhealthy emotion. I don't like it. But, I will honor and feel it all of the way through. I feel responsible. But, why is it I won't feel responsible for the good things? Today's family cold is an excellent lesson for me.
NOT TAKING CREDIT.
My baby is my baby.
Period.
today's poem:
feelings
feelings
poetic feelings
dumpy feelings
uniqueness in my ability to process them
write about them
scream about them
tears are a release
so the universe has confirmation
you're getting it
you're getting it

thursblog

Oh my gosh. Grey's Anatomy was so good. It was the season opener. During a commercial break I got some really good ideas for Universe Parallel. Once I wrote a song thinking it was completed and then I realized I could combine two songs I was working on. Same thing happened with Universe Parallel. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited.
It's really a lot of fun. I think this stage of writing a script is the most fun. The blank canvas.
I once had an Art History Professor say that she thinks the blank canvas is daunting. I have the oppostite feeling. Then again, she's into the history of art and I'm much more into the creative process. I love it because it pulls me like a magnet into the present moment. Sometimes I use a lot of my left hemisphere when writing. But, when I'm in the pocket...deep...deep...into the pocket...I swear I'm using my right hemisphere. I just completed reading "My Stroke of Insight". I highly recommend this book. It's a fantastic and easy read. It explains a lot about the brain in easily, understandable terms.
Well, thinking it's time to turn the light off and head on out to la la land.
I am grateful for this body
These molecules
These cells
working diligently
to the beat of me
working with the rhythms and patterns of others
Honoring those of Mama Nature
this is being alive
this is honoring being alive
this is me

oh my wednesday

I just watched an A and E dvd about psychic phenomenon. It was a really well balanced documentary. I really enjoyed it. I would have to say that I believe, whole heartedly, in psychic phenomenon. I like to call it intuition. I'm a fan of Dr. Judith Orloff. Intuition helps in so many ways I wouldn't know where to begin. My most important decision was to marry my partner. I knew for sure I would marry him after doing an exercise from her book. Fo shizzles.
What I liked about the A and E documentary is that they showed the people who believe in psychic abilities and they showed the people who didn't believe in psychic abilities. No matter what I believed the people with psychic abilites. Granted, there are sham artists out there...people who exploit other people for profit. But, Jimminy Cricket...every single facet of life seems to have people doing this. Why look at our current economy. Crisis? Like we didn't know that six months ago. Anyway, let's focus on the postive.
Signing off..it's a great day...great evening.

brainfishing

brainstorming for ideas
when in truth
it's brainfishing
fishing for ideas
to complete the project
to impress the clients
fishing
channeling
braining
end of poem
So, I just blogged and it didn't publish. I'll start on something new. Motivation. Where does it come from? Where do people find the ooomph to do what's needed to be done and do what the want to do? Where? I took a psychology class called Motivation in college. I learned lots of interesting things like employers who paid employees once a week had more productivity than employers who paid employee's bi-weekly. I also learned that good looking genes reproduce.
Snuggles is proof of this.
sorry for the abrupt end...it's just...it's bed time.

today is saturday

pretty sunshine
hacking away from the moon
light
reflecting
do stars and moons and asteroids
have opinions about new technology?
it affects them
all of those
satellites
out there
taking up free space
in outer space
end of poem
untitled
Well, Snuggles is getting everywhere. I feel so very good after I do two loads of laundry, spot clean the bureau and water fountain. Really...AND vacuum the entire house. Now, the entire house is a one bedroom apartment. But, it's incredibly spacious. Over 1000 square feet. It was built way back when...before they tried to pimp out space for more money. Back then, they just were building apartments. I don't think there's anything wrong with this. Just a sign of the times, ya know? Contractors were getting more savvy, etc.
Well, Snuggles is making the most adorable gargling spit noises. Unlike anybody else. She is our joy. Our proof of God.
Seriously.
I love her.
I love watching my companion with her.
Anyway, here we go yo.
I started brainstorming for Uniververse Parallel. I didn't hit the pocket, but, that's okay. I'm sure it will happen. It's such an exciting project. I've researched the hell out of it. But I still have a lot left to learn. Just the concept that there are multiple universes out there is mind boggling.
It really explains some of the unexplainable.

poem of the day; charcoal

the scent of charcoal
lingers
like the clouds from the night before
yet it isn't my charcoal
it is the neighbor's
big city neighbor
i experience envy
not the insidious kind
the food kind
i want to have what they're having for dinner
yum
odor, scent
such a powerful phenomenon
like a reminder of something from childhood
olfactory lobes
do i even understand what that is
i've decided
throughout my life
i am not a scientist
i am an artist
has this thinking
stopped me from things?

dream about writing

I had a dream the night before last that I need to start to write down my writing goals. I need to set quarterly goals. Here they go:
sept 19th - dec 19th:
write in blog daily
start writing poems daily
start universe parallel three pages per day minimum
cool here we go yo.

thurs

We taped a ufo special on tuesday. But, the vcr seemed to think it was supposed to tape it on Wednesday night. We missed it. But, I'm terribly intrigued by ufo's....by extra terrestrials. What are they like? I believe in them. Wholeheartedly. I'm curious about them. Do they think we're crazy? How does it work? I wish Snuggles wouldn't watch tv so I'm looking at her while I blog. I'm smiling and keeping her active and engaged. She's reacting to me and I feel like she feels loved. She is really supercool. I love her.
Just love her.
I love aliens.

it's a wednesday

Isn't this photograph beautiful? I couldn't believe they had travel tips on Martha Stewart's web site. Pretty cool stuff. I'm a traveler. I just love to travel. To see new places, places I've already been to. I love checking into hotels, hostels, and pitching a tent. I've stayed in lots of different places. Super classy and super cheap. I think it's the experiences that I've always gone after. That's why we're here. To live.
Well, Snuggles is as adorable as ever. She's rolling around everywhere. I really cannot believe how quickly she's grown up before our eyes. My companion thinks I might be spoiling her. I don't know. Just doing what I feel like doing. She's really sweet. Fiesty and debonair at the same time. Right now she's playing with her binky and smiling at me. Must spend time with her. Will blog more tomorrow.

things

Thoughts are things. I find this amazing that I never really completely understood this comment. However, now I get it. It's like when I was working customer service and this lady yelled at us for losing her timesheet. She comes in the next day and turns it in. Oh, I thought I had turned it in. That's the power of the mind, of assumptions and .... thoughts are things.
I really am careful about my belief systems.
They can dictate so many decisions.
I'm very open.
Sometimes too open.
I don't know how to explain it.
I'm more interested in what we don't know than what we do know.
It's the what-we-don't-know that is so very intriguing.
I think it would be fun to be a cha-chillionaire and do studies on things I would like to prove.
There are lots of studies I'd like to conduct.
Starting with people minds -- how they work --- if we had to use a machine to explain an individual's mind what would they choose. I've asked lots of people this and receive lots of different answers.
Must go .. Snuggles needs me.

i posted a comment

I posted a comment on Huffington Post today. I'm not,usually, so political. But, this election seems to have so much of the country in a trance. Really. In a good way.
Snuggles is taking a nap. She looks so sweet.
Well, I had another good day.
I'm proud of my weight loss.
I cannot wait.
That's the hardest part of getting in shape -- mind, body, spirit. It's the patience and the faith that the hard work will pay off. Not to judge myself on past mistakes. They really are just learning experiences aren't they?

the atlantic

Snuggles is tearing up The Atlantic. Are babies allowed to chew magazines? I think not due to the dyes. But, I am letting her tear away to her heart's content. It's about the mind of the presidential candidate I'm not voting for. So, I don't really care if it's ruined. I should read up on this individual in case he wins. But, egh, as the Ugandans would say when I was backpacking Africa.
Feeling great again.
I just asked Snuggles, "Isn't it a great day to be alive?"
She just smiled to her heart's content.
She brings my partner and I so much love.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.

67th post

I cannot believe this is my 67th post. That's crazy. But, that's what the data reflects. I'm not a data slut. But, I know other people who are. Snuggles is biting her bottle of orajel. I wonder if that's a hint that she wants some on her gums. Funny, huh?
Well, I'm wishing I could take a trip to Madison, Wisconsin to meet up with friends. Hawaii might be better, though.
Life is good.
Grand, actually.
I would like to hold onto this feeling.
I have to admit I was watching some political discussions and it get me feeling angry. I Think that anger is ego. The particular emotion of anger is rumored to be deriven from fear. I was fearful of some things. These two presidential candidates are quite different. For me, it's an easy pick. I don't want everyone to vote exactly like me...just the majority.

funny

it's funny how much walking clears my mind. it rids my mind body and spirit of any guilt that i haven't exercised. it's just good to get that Vitamin D. ya know? Life is good. I'm feeling really good. I've come to realize that no matter how many curve balls life hands me -- I've got a lot of experience. I can handle them , now. I don't have to turn to food or self-destructive behavior. Not , that I ever thought I was self-destructive ....but, a close friend hinted that I was. This blog is short and sweet.

little sleeping baby

I think I've been blogging and writing in code. I completely admire the people that can write their life story and deepest, darkest, most intimate feelings and publish them on the internet. But, I'm just not at that level of blogging yet. I still call my baby snuggles and my husband lover or companion or life partner. I never write names and I, well, I don't know....look to keep it general. I'm very private and I plan on keeping it that way. I don't know who would, actually, get a hold of this blog besides the three human beings I have shared it with. Boy, I get way...TOO ahead of myself sometimes.
Life is not that simple. Why, my companion and I were shopping at a major grocery store today...they're closing down and ...EVERYTHING was 50% off....I mean...EVERYTHING. It was such a rush to get $101 worth of groceries for only $42 dollars. We had been fasting all day and were high on endorphins every time we looked at the receipt. Even snuggles wanted to eat it. We didn't want to give it to snuggles because ... well, we like our endorphins...our drug is discount grocery shopping. I don't know why...but, fortunately, we both love, love love it.
Okay, there's no closing for this....
signing...off.

walks are good for the soul

Period. Walking is good for the soul. It's a spiritual experience for me. I read in a yoga magazine that walking is yoga. Gotta love that. There is something that releases toxins and reinvigorates the center of my being each time I go for a walk. I live in a major city with lots of toxins...so there is an interesting exchange of toxins occuring. In with the good...out with the bad...in with the bad...in with good.
Well, it's almost time to break fast.
Very exciting.
Very very cool.

7 days

I don't have an exact subject that I will blog about today. So, I call this freestylin'. Well. ops was about the over 175 U.S. olympic medalists. It was a really emotional show. I cried out of pride for my country and pride for the hard work it took for them to earn their medals. I don't have a competitive edge, except for with myself. I think that's healhty. I once had a therapist tell me to stop using the word healthy. I use it too much. I believe she was right.
It's almost an aspiration for perfection, ya know?
It's around that time to bathe the baby.
I haven't quite found the pocket.
Sometimes, when blogging the mind wonders off and some true words come forward.
too much pressure
signing off

what is today?

what is today, anyway? I guess that's a good thing. I don't have to really know what the date is unless a bill is due or I have an appointment. This domestic engineer life is agreeing with me. I think that I have a project coming out of me soon. Maybe it's Universe Parallel ... I don't know. But, I can feel it before a writing project. It peeks its head through the windows. When it gets the chance it gently knocks on my front door. Sheepishly, though. I feel this one coming along. I have learned from years of writing never to force it. But, on the other hand ...always...always give yourself a deadline. ... or your project's first draft will die in the loop of re-write infinity. Anyway, I'm stoked that this project is coming to me ... very honored it would choose me to write it.
humbly yours
gfdanonymous

sat blog

sat blog
today is the day
i feel so in tune with myself
this is the sixth day of fasting.
i had no idea how much better i would feel.
i was just trying to do it this year.
i feel sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.
isn't that what we all want for ourselves and our friends and family?
to just feel good?
it's a basic component of life.
i have a friend no matter what adversity she's faced with she feels good..she enjoys life.
really.
off the subject, i have day dreams that we win the cabin from the hgtv giveaway. they say it's for vacation. whatever. we would move into it. we would find a way to make a living. oops snuggles just spit-up. i better go assist her. she's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute.

feel better

i feel better. it's amazing what 2 days of fasting can do. i mean, mentally, spiritually, emotionally i feel so much better. i'm probably eating the same amount of calories. it's just at different times of the day. plus, snuggles and i are walking about an hour to an hour and a half each day. i used to feel that our neighborhood wasn't safe enough for me to walk around with snuggles. but, i think it was just a new parent thing. after six months i'm plopping the stroller and the carrier and walking around. feel much much better. it is work though. for me to feel better. if i were to just lie around all day doing nothing i don't feel so hot. it's very simple. i'm wondering what my next project will be. maybe...we'll see.

weight why

maybe i should try shipping myself the next time i go to the post office. seriously. no matter what i've tried over the last 6 months since i've given birth -- i've gained and lost these same damn 10 pounds. okay, so miraculously i lost 26 pounds after giving birth. simple explaination...i got edema the last 2 or 3 weeks. so it was just water weight. it was simple to lose. then FOR WHO KNOWS what reason. i have been gaining and losing these ten pounds. i don't like where i've been going lately. into the past. i keep saying 'if i had just counted 2000 calories every single day since i gave birth then i'd have lost a pound a week and i'd have lost an additional 4 x 6 = 24 pounds. oh my gosh i'd weigh so much lighter. instead i feel fat and bloaty. we took a last minute get away camping trip to santa paula and we pigged out, i mean PIGGED out on junk food. we did eat nothing but fresh fruit in the mornings, though. credit for that. low and behold. it's time for me to shape up. i cannot seem to find what motivates me. maybe going to the post office and having them weigh me and ship me will motivate me to lose weight...that way i won't have to pay as much for shipping.