it's happened. i feel fat. i feel pregnant. can't believe i am sharing these feelings publicly. i don't feel right. something is off kilter. i am in a negative space. i am thinking if i take a long hot shower i will feel better. xo me and my other half.

you gotta breathe

yeah......right........
feeling like i am so not myself
goodness

briefly

briefly
releasing control
love
judgement
reacting with mild thoughts

wiser part of you

the wiser part of you can talk to the wounded part of you. i'm listening to a robin cook and ruth king interview on http://www.hayhouseradio.com/hosts.php?author_id=815

it's really interesting

there are some old habits that wear us down

beginning a practice of forgiveness to ourselves

it is what it is.

it's a practice

unforgiving ball in our heart

interferes with our capacity to love ouselves
practice the forgiveness
way to practice with forgiveness

wise
wise
guided response
really
i wish i could explain how hard it is to forgive ourselves. to love compassionately ourselves.
it's a tough one. compassion is already the right choice. apologetically!!!

so proud`

http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/how-to-write-a-book/

i have completed chapter 1
i feel so proud
so proud
there is a quite a ways to go
but
i feel
great
opiates and endorphins kicking in
love it love it love it

call for prayer

the call for prayer is pretty amazing
amazing it is
serene
from the heart
to the soul
in arabic
i really should learn arabic ya know?

fears in my orbit

dude,

fear is in my orbit. i am like this pineapple guy up here. i feal fearful and i have sticky things jutting out of me. i'm worried for my five year old daughter. it's her third day of school and today she asked me, "why won't they be my friends?". she made friends...but i don't know maybe she asked one kid to be her friend and he said no. i know it is her journey to learn. but, i have to let her go...gooo......we are , still, just a little bit attached. i love her so much. i want to protect her from being hurt. i want to ensure that she is 100% confident. but, is anybody really. it is the people who have been through so much that are the most confident. but, can she just ..............naturally be confident? she's so vulnerable.........willing to drop her defenses and go up to kids............will you be my friend? she's so sweet. so innocent. i don't want her to be hardened by life. i just want to build self esteem ya know? she gets her feelings hurt when people laugh. she isn't understanding that they aren't being mean...sometimes they aren't laughing "at" her.....i need to teach her that her true self loves her and that she is loveable.